Dark Detective
by Apple Snapple
Summary: The Hyoutei regulars play a game of Dark Detective. Part of the Sleepover Series. Oneshot. Rated T for swearing.


**Yes, I'm writing crack again. Frick, it's soo annoying when I'm almost done with this story but then it DIES.**

**Yeah. Dark Detective's this game that me and my friends played during a sleepover. Mariya taught it to us xD**

* * *

The Hyotei regulars were all gathered in Atobe's living room. Why were they there? Because Atobe invited them all for a sleepover. Of course, the regulars all said that boys didn't really have sleepovers, but Atobe just excused that as a "commoner's" idea. Yeah. A "commoner's" idea.

Anyways, Atobe was now making a fucktastic long speech about how he was soooo charming and how he would save the world one day with his charming good looks and how he wasn't an egotistical moron AT ALL. Of course, all the Hyotei regulars were bored at this and weren't paying attention.

"Ore-sama demands that you pay attention!" Atobe said.

"No one cares. You aren't going to help the world with your charming good looks you know," Shishido grumbled.

"How can you say that! Ore-sama will save the world with my awesome charming good looks!"

"You do NOT have awesome charming good looks," Shishido said.

"How dare you!"

"I have the best game ever!" Mukahi shouted, standing up.

"Is it better than Harry Potter?" Hiyoshi asked.

Mukahi nodded. "Okay, so it's called Dark Detective. There's this person who's supposed to be the detective."

"Okay," the regulars chorused.

"Yeah. And then there's a murderer."

Everyone nodded.

"Yeah. So, first the detective holds out a hat with a whole bunch of pieces of paper, exactly seven for us, since there's going to be seven people playing. Everyone draws out a piece of paper. If you have a big dot on your paper, you're the murderer. But you don't tell anyone, you act normal and just put the paper back into the hat like everyone else.

"Okay."

"So then the detective turns off the lights and walks out of the room. The game then starts. Everyone has to walk around, no one can stand in place the whole time. You have to be moving. The murderer has to murder one person and only one person. He has to tap someone on the shoulder, and if you're tapped, you stand still and wait five seconds. After that you say "I'M DEAD!"

"Wait, Gakuto," Oshitari said. "How are we going to know where we're going if the lights are out? And anyone can just accidentally brush your shoulder, so then it'd be confusing."

Mukahi rolled his eyes. "Fine. If you're the murderer you have to squeeze the person's shoulder if you want to murder him, okay? And it's not that hard to walk around when the lights are off. There's moonlight, so there shouldn't be any problems. Anyways, once somoene calls out "I'M DEAD!", everyone stands still. The detective then comes into the room and turns the lights back on. Then he questions people about like, who they think the murderer is. You have to give a good reason why you think the person you chose is the murderer, you can just say "because I hate him" or whatever. After the second murder the detective can take one person into custody. After he's taken that person into custody and there's another murder, the murderer has won the game. If you're the murderer and you've been taken into custody, you have to tell the detective."

Shishido snorted. "That's stupid. Can't the murderer just lie to the detective?"

"Well, it's going to be obvious if it's been 20 minutes and there hasn't been a murder yet," Oshitari pointed out.

"True."

Mukahi held out a hat. "Since everyone's new at this game, I'll be the detective."

The regulars all drew out papers, looked at them, and put them back in.

Mukahi turned off the lights and walked out the room.

"WHO TOUCHED ORE-SAMA'S HAIR?!"

"Atobe, calm down," Oshitari said.

"I WILL NOT CALM DOWN! SOMEONE JUST TOUCHED ORE-SAMA'S HAIR!"

"Dude, shut up! It's a game, no one cares about your old aging hair!" Shishido yelled.

"SUGEE! THE LIGHTS ARE OUT!" Jirou shouted.

Shishido twitched. "Please tell me you actually heard the instructions Gakuto just gave out."

"Yeah."

"Good."

Silence enveloped the room for a few minutes until...

"Usu. Dead. Usu."

"SUGEE! SOMEONE'S DEAD!"

"Usu."

Mukahi came back into the room and turned on the lights. He twitched. "Yeah, someone's dead all right. But why is it Kabaij?"

Everyone was silent for a few moments until...

"Ore-sama knows who the murderer is!" Atobe exclaimed.

Mukahi looked at Atobe. "Who?"

"Ootori!"

"...And why?"

"BECAUSE HE TOUCHED ORE-SAMA'S HAIR!"

Ootori sweatdropped.

"...Dude! I told you to give out a good reason, not some random one like "I hate him" or whatever!"

"Gakuto, he does have a point," Oshitari said.

Shishido twitched. "He's the murderer because he touched Atobe's fucktastically long hair."

"No, because he's the only one tall enough to reach Kabaji's shoulder, really."

Ootori sweatdropped even more.

Mukahi shook his head. "Whatever." He walked out of the room again.

"SUGEE! IT'S A FLYING COW!" Guess who...

"..."

"Ore-sama is DEAD! Ore-sama does NOT appreciate this!"

Mukahi came back into the room. "Okay, whoever's the murderer, have a little patience will you? It's been like, what? A MINUTE!!"

"ORE-SAMA DOES NOT WANT TO DIE!!"

"..."

"ORE-SAMA WILL SAVE THE WORLD WITH MY CHARMING GOOD LOOKS!"

"Yeah...anyways..."

"HOW DARE YOU IGNORE ORE-SAMA WHILE ORE-SAMA IS TALKING!"

"Whatever. Does anyone know who's the murderer?"

No answer...

"Oookay. I'm taking Ootori in for custody. You, monkey king, get up."

"HOW DARE YOU CALL ORE-SAMA MONKEY KING!!"

Mukahi rolled his eyes and dragged both of them out of the room.

The lights went out.

"SUGEE! THERE'S A LANTERN HERE!" Jirou shouted.

"Somehow, this isn't scary." Shishido said.

"..."

"Oh, by the way, I just died," Shishido commented.

Mukahi stormed into the room, a furious look on this face. "OKAY! WHO THE FUCKING HELL IS THE FUCKING MURDERER?!"

Shishido twitched again. "You have a bad temper."

"FUCK YOU!"

"You're going to make a bad detective one day."

"SHUT UP! YOU'RE DEAD, SO STAY THAT WAY!"

"..."

Silence...

Hiyoshi suddenly raised his hand. "I am."

Silence...

"..."

A random tumbleweed rolls by...

"..."

A cricket chirps...

"Fuck! Okay, since you were the murderer last time, you get to be the detective." Mukahi shoved the hat into Hiyoshi's hands.

**Round Two...**

Hiyoshi stood still as everyone picked their papers and put them back in. Then he walked out of the room.

"SUGEE! THERE'S A CACTUS HERE!"

Shishido stared. "Atobe, why do you have a cactus in your living room?"

"Ore-sama needs these things," Atobe said.

"Usu."

"..."

Silence enveloped the room again for a few moments until...

"SUGEE! I JUST DIED!"

Hiyoshi came back into the room and just stood there.

"Dude, you're supposed to ask us who the murderer was," Mukahi said.

"This is boring. Harry Potter's better," Hiyoshi said.

"..."

"Ore-sama thinks it's Oshitari," Atobe piped up.

"Why?" Hiyoshi asked in a bored voice.

"Because he's standing right next to Jirou."

"...Okay." Hiyoshi walked out the room, taking Jirou with him.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Gakuto, where did you learn this game?" Oshitari asked.

"Dunno. Probably from Wikipedia. Not sure."

"Dude, you spend TOO MUCH time on Wikipedia," Shishido said.

"I know."

"Ore-sama does not appreciate this game!" Atobe yelled.

"Usu."

"..."

"..."

"It's really quiet without Jirou here," Shishido said.

Mukahi crept up behind Shishido and whispered in his ear "Boo."

"That wasn't funny."

"You're just being EMO!" Mukahi stomped off.

"..."

"..."

Suddenly Mukahi let out a looonnngggg scream. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

"Gakuto, what happened?" Oshitari asked.

"OMFG I JUST DIED BUT NO ONE CARES CAUSE THEY'RE GOING TO SHOOT ME WITH A GUN! AHHH! AND THEY'RE GOING TO MAKE ME WRITE LIKE A...A...A DRUNK PERSON HIGH ON A COCKTAIL OF MARIJUANA, SPEED, AND FORMALDEHYDE!!! OMFG OMFG OMFG EW EW EW BLAHHHHH!!!!"

Hiyoshi walked into the room with a bewildered expression on his face.

"I think he went insane," Shishido commented.

"Great. Now I can gekokujyu him," Hiyoshi mumbled.

"OMFG!!!! EW EW EW BLAHH!!!! I WANNA THROW FROGS AT PEOPLE!! AND SERIOUSLY AGHHHHH!!!! I'M ON CRACK AND POT AND WHATEVERRRRR!!!"

"..."

"Ore-sama thinks it is Oshitari," Atobe said.

"..."

Hiyoshi sighed. "I'm taking Oshitari in. And Mukahi-senpai needs to stop screaming."

Mukahi immediately stopped and walked out of the room...sniffling...with Hiyoshi and Oshitari behind him.

The lights went out.

"...This is boring," Shishido said.

"Ore-sama does not like this!"

"..."

Suddenly a window broke.

"ORE-SAMA DEMANDS TO KNOW WHO MADE THAT SHATTERING SOUND!"

"I think a window broke," Shishido said.

"WHY DID ORE-SAMA'S WINDOW BREAK?!"

"Probably because Gakuto was screaming too much."

Suddenly the lights went back on again.

"We caught the murderer," Hiyoshi said. "It was Oshitari."

Mukahi popped his head into the room and stared. "Why's the window broken?"

"..." The regulars stared at the window, and then at the ground.

Lying on the ground was a...banana...

* * *

**Oh yeah. A banana broke the window...**

**xD Please review! Oh, and by the way, I don't own PoT. **

**And yes, a banana broke the window. Don't ask me. If you really want to know read my next story in the sleepover series. Sheesh. xD **

**Oh, and by the way, I'm not going to be here tomorrow...because I'm going to be on a plane flying back to America. Yayzersss...**


End file.
